Stoicism, Resilience, and Framework for being unstuck!
While we all wait for a little bit of magic to happen to us.
Stoicism, Ryan Holiday, and your own walls
If you follow Ryan Holiday, the YouTuber who talks about Stoicism, you know how deeply he believes it has reshaped his life. He even has a tattoo on his right arm, one of Marcus Aurelius’s famous sayings:
“The obstacle is the way,”
I can’t do as good a job as Ryan, but I want to share how I’ve tried to get out of places of undesirable consequences—from jobs to relationships—through my own reflections.
More often than not, we’re great advisors to friends and family about their problems, yet much harsher on ourselves. We find ourselves stuck in situations that seem endless, feeling trapped, disconnected, and unconcerned. Remember: the struggle is real, and it’s real for everyone. Countless people are fighting for purpose and meaning, each with their walls. You’re not singled out, and that perspective can be the first crack that lets light in.
We’re taught life is linear:
Do well in school —> Get a job —> Buy a house —> Live happily
But then reality happens, and you hit a wall. Maybe the promotion never comes, maybe you can’t afford that house and maybe your health falters. Suddenly, the script runs out, and you’re left waiting for magic, for luck, for something to change. What can you do while you wait? And how do you keep faith that it will work out, especially at a toxic workplace?
‘Unstuck’ framework
We have three options—and each one demands a big currency from us: health, time, and effort.
C1: Resilience—Keep Pushing
The first option is to take a pause, catch your breath, and then keep pushing to break the wall. This is the path of resilience—the steady, sane approach. It’s not about brute force; it’s about sharpening your tools and going back in with a better game plan. Persistence here is about consistency, patience, and a willingness to keep showing up.
C1 (The Linear Grind) – Output = Time × Effort.
When consistency alone moves the needle—writing weekly Substacks, firing off cold emails, or climbing a clear career ladder—sometimes you just have to keep hitting the rock until it cracks.
C2: Reskill—Upgrade Your Approach
The second option is to reskill, to upgrade. To bring in reinforcements. This could be learning new tools, getting coached, or observing how others have broken through similar walls. It’s about increasing the quality of your effort, not just the quantity. Sometimes the wall doesn’t need more time—it needs smarter time.
C2 (The Threshold Effect) – Output = Time × Quality[E > Threshold]
Some challenges demand a minimum bar of skill or insight. Think photoelectric effect (for physics nerd): unless the light’s frequency is high enough, electrons won’t budge. Repeated startup rejections? You might need a tighter story, a clearer deck—not just more slides, but a better strategy.
C3: Change the Game
The third option is to turn around and look for a new wall, a new obstacle, or a different milestone to overcome. Sometimes, we realise that what we were chasing was never really meant for us. Like VC jobs for me—I spent months right after my MBA trying painfully to break into one. It never quite clicked. Eventually, I realised it was better to find a new game. When we choose games where the odds are better, where the alignment is truer, we work just as hard—maybe even harder—because deep down, we believe the wall is breakable. That belief makes all the difference.
C3 (The Additive Model) – Total Output = A₁ + A₂ + A₃
Naval Ravikant recommends spending 10–20% of your time exploring new “games”—hobbies, curiosities, side projects. That way, when one path stalls, you already have another spark to light the way. It sometimes might seem an easier out, but isn’t, cause it has more emotional cost than we suspect. Here is Naval explaining it in his own words.
Owning Your Path forward..
The choice of how to approach breaking through the wall is yours and yours alone. Each path comes with its own set of costs and rewards. On the other side, there’s a bit of magic waiting—only if you’re willing to embrace the journey to get there. That’s the real personal contract.
The most liberating realisation? There’s no single right answer. All three paths are valid, and they all exist simultaneously. Your job is to choose one and keep moving forward.
Belief is self defined, self determined and self evaluated..
The toughest part isn't deciding which path to take. It’s holding onto your belief long enough to see the outcome. When things don’t shift for months, it becomes harder and harder to trust they ever will. But that belief—the inner confidence that change will come—is the muscle you need to exercise. Without it, you won’t pick up the hammer again. You won’t reach out to a mentor. You won’t even consider trying something new.
In life and work, trust is the foundation. It’s what allows us to keep showing up, even when the results aren’t immediately visible. As a manager, a friend, or a partner, the most valuable thing you can offer others isn’t advice or feedback. It’s a belief. It’s telling someone, “You’re not broken. You’re just in the middle.”
And that applies to you, too.